I need to calm down. Generally, everything will turn out okay.6:03 a.m. - 2004-01-01
Merry New Year!
(I hope after that last entry no one thought that I was huddled in a corner of a dark room slowly rocking back and forth. I have found one of the most amazing things about life is how it always... just continues to go on... with much less disruption than you imagine. I guess, the most important thing for me to remember is that somehow, generally, things will turn out okay. So I shouldn't worry so much! Ya know? Anyway.)
Yes, I have been up since yesterday! No, no wild parties for me last night. I was up late reading. Because I wasn't tired. Although someone near here had some fun with illegal fireworks! I wonder if they got caught?
I've kind of been delaying an entry, because I got a digital camera for christmas! And, I wanted to put up some pics on here (well, links to pics, since I can't afford a gold membership. Sorry, Andrew.), but *blah blah blah*, the software can't be installed until we get a windows update, which we can't get until we clear a lot of stuff off the c drive, which is hard to do because the computer geek is hardly ever home anymore. So, you don't get no pictures, for now.
So, I've been thinking about the new school thing again... and I'm getting nervous again. Because, it just occured to me that I don't know ANYONE at that school (at least no one that I've talked to in the last 6 months). The last time I started a school where I knew no one was kindergarten. There will be no one to sit with at lunch, no one to tell me where stuff is (yeah, there are maps, but people tell you where stuff REALLY is), no one to relieve first day tension with, no one who knows what teachers to avoid, and no one to talk with in between classes. Maybe this would be less of a big deal, except that I am incredibly shy when I don't know anyone. Someone else has to make a first move, or I'll just sit there like a slug and wonder if people are staring at me. I thought I had outgrown that "shy thing", but now that I thought about the fact that I will be surrounded by absolute strangers, I'm feeling that same old "but what if no one likes me?" feeling. I am suddenly terrified.
Not to mention... what if the classes are a ton harder than they are at Meramec? (which is silly, because the classes wouldn't be transferable if they weren't comparable)... and what if I AM dumb, and I can't understand the new material? And... and... and...
*deep breath*
Generally, everything will turn out okay.
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