My thoughts on having children.12:53 p.m. - 2002-06-06
Yet another boring day. My best friend is leaving for her cruise tomorrow, so I'm going to see her tonight, after I sweat up a storm at class. I've been thinking a lot lately, about this and that, so I thought I'd talk about that on here for a while.
First, about children-- it seems appropriate as I'm going to be watching some tomorrow. A lot of people are really surprised when I tell them I don't want any children. I had a guy friend of mine say that I looked like the kind of person who would have children, and be one of those betty-crocker-esc people. I can't exactly change the way I look in that respect! I've had another person say that I "look motherly". I think that was because I have big boobs. I don't know why people assume that because I "look motherly" that I want kids!
Its not so much that I dislike children, although they have had bigger fans then me. I like babies and little kids, they are so sweet and innocent and curious-- but the older kids and teenagers just drive me bonkers, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be a mother of a teen or tween-- I know the way I treat/ treated my own mother, and there is NO WAY! In addition to that, what if I totally screw the kid up? I don't want to end up bestowing upon the world some screwed-up serial killer, or a total social outcast.
But at the same time, I disagree with some of our society's crap. Like all boys have to be dirty brats who can't cry or have feelings. And all girls aren't allowed to be dominant, especially around guys-- I kind of feel like a victim of this line of thought myself. I tend to go with the flow, if I'm around dominant people, or guys I don't know (not around guy friends, thank god) I just am like, "whatever you want." But if I were to try to rear the child in this society, and try to impress upon them that they don't have to follow the rules imposed upon their gender, it wouldn't work. All children discover the behavior considered appropriate for their gender, and follow. These rules are unconciously imposed by adults-- even I would do so, I'm sure. If I tried to rear them away from this culture, and then bring them back (this would be damn near impossible anyway), they would end up as social outcast, since culture is mainly aquired through childhood learning, and the adult who didn't learn about these unconscious rules as a child would be an outcast, at least socially, because even those who profess to be different from the cultural norm still follow all the cultural rules that we don't even think about.
I just don't know why people think that having children is so rewarding-- sure I want to have kids, and pass on my genetic material-- its kind of genetically programmed, or at least culturally programmed. But why do we need more near-sighted people with blue eyes-- quite possibly left-handed, since I am? And just because its rewarding for you, doesn't mean that it'll be rewarding for the kid. I have a friend who wants kids so she can control them, and blah blah blah. Who says that the kids want to be controlled? Life is tough, and everyone goes through tough times, a lot more difficult times then happy ones.
Of course, all my thoughts on this matter doesn't mean that I actually *won't* have kids. For all I know, I'll hit 30, realize my genetic clock is running down, and become pregnant in panic. I know a lot of older women who have had this happen to them. But for now, I'm just happy with pets. They can be my babies.
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